I Will Carry You: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy

I may have before mentioned sweet Angie Smith. She is the wife of Todd Smith (lead singer of Selah), author of an amazing blog entitled Bring the Rain, and half of the team that runs the also amazing online Bloom Book Club. Angie has now written a very personal and very beautiful book by the name of I Will Carry You: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy. Even the dedication page speaks volumes in just four words: "For her... For Him."

From the description on the back cover:

"Angie Smith was eighteen weeks pregnant with her fourth daughter, Audrey Caroline, when doctors discovered conditions leaving Audrey "incompatible with life." Faced with the decision whether to terminate the pregnancy, Angie and her husband chose to carry Audrey for as long as she had life. This began what turned out to be three months of loving and carrying a little girl that was not expected to live more than a few minutes.

Audrey Caroline lived for over two hours, weighing three pounds, two ounces. Yet, in the midst of the sorrow of loss, there was still joy. Angie weaves the faith-filled story of Audrey Caroline with a biblical story of hope to help us all to understand how better to cope with loss and disappointment..."

I've been meaning to write this post for almost a week now, and the thing is... I don't know that I  can put to paper (or rather, the screen) how much Audrey's story has impacted my life. The raw, unrelenting faith of Todd and Angie. The hugeness of our God and how He comforts even in sorrow... how He indeed does bring joy in the midst of the grief. I wish so badly I could condense it all down to a few paragraphs for you. The enormity of it all is still so fresh on my heart.

I discovered Angie's blog a little over a year after Audrey was born, and I read every word of every post in around two or three months. I cried. I prayed. I laughed, then cried some more.  I was captivated by the fact that someone would be so real and so open to basically total strangers. What also blew me away was the community of women (and men) who genuinely prayed and believed and related to Angie's story. Women who had suffered the loss of a child or were themselves in the middle of a difficult diagnosis for their unborn began to share their stories in the comments section and e-mails to Angie. Do you know what else? They found a place where they knew their needs would be prayed for. Women coming together to lift each other up in the midst of such brokenness and sadness. The love of Christ flowed so freely, whereas it's so difficult sometimes to find that in our everyday. We're often too busy or too distracted to notice the opportunity to reach out to the hurting and the weary. Even before she was born, Audrey was changing lives and introducing countless numbers of people to her Creator.

Angie often says that even at just over three pounds, Audrey had weight in this world. Indeed she did. Her story and her legacy will live on through Angie and Todd and a host of others who came to know this beautiful baby girl. All I have left to say is I encourage you to get this book. It's not a long read and it's incredibly well written. In fact, to make it even easier for you... Angie's book is now offered as a limited time FREE digital download from Barnes & Noble!! Get it while you can! :)

This is no way does justice to the impact the Smith family story has made in my own life. I can only hope you'll find out for yourself what a huge blessing came in a three pound package.

Blessings,