I made a promise to love You, and nothing can change my mind...

I have a slight music obsession :) So, from time to time you will see a random post (much like this one) where I will share my current "favorite" song.

I have been patiently awaiting the release of Cindy Cruse Ratcliff's first solo project in 17 years "Twenty Three"... and it was in the mail today! I had already heard most all of the songs on YouTube from Lakewood services and the release concert/worship service she had recently. One of the ones that I've listened to over and over and over is called The Promise. The album version is awesome. Amazing. However, I think everything is better live, especially when you have someone who can *sing* without being overdubbed and mixed to sound "radio friendly". So, I present to you The Promise... live from the release concert... please get some kleenex...

[Note: This video begins with "23", which is a fantastic song featuring Lincoln Brewster on the album cut, but if you would like to skip ahead you may fast forward to 4:35...]



I can't get those words out of my head... "I made a promise to love You, and nothing can change my mind." In fact, every time I think about that line I can feel my throat tighten up and my eyes sting. Shouldn't we all be thinking that way?

Nothing can change my mind.

When I find myself in a hard place...

Nothing can change my mind.

When I feel alone...

Nothing can change my mind.

When I'm about to give up because I can't see the finish...
When I'm impatient with Him...
When I'm broken before Him...

Nothing can change my mind...

The Promise
Written by: Cindy Cruse Ratcliff & Alexa Cruse
Produced by: Cindy Cruse Ratcliff

Rest assured, unashamed
I'm running after You
Unsatisfied with apathy
My heart it seeks Your Truth
And on this day and on my knees
I make a vow to You
And in return I'll know Your Name
Gain a life in You

Chorus:
And I have promised to love You
With everything, my offering
And I have promised to give You
My life, my all for Sovereign's call
I made a promise to love You
Nothing can change my mind

So secure, unafraid
Completely rest in You
I'm satisfied here on my knees
My heart it beats Your Truth
Forevermore with everything
I make a vow to You
And in return I'll know You Grace
You make all things new 

Chorus:
And I have promised to love You
With everything, my offering
And I have promised to give You
My life, my all for Sovereign's call
I made a promise to love You
Nothing can change my mind

A life within Your Promise
A love without an end
Your Grace You pour upon us
Cleansed and free from sin

Chorus:
And I have promised to love You
With everything, my offering
And I have promised to give You
My life, my all for Sovereign's call
I made a promise to love You
Nothing can change my mind

**I'd love to know... what's your current favorite song? Any you would recommend?

Blessings,

I Will Carry You: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy

I may have before mentioned sweet Angie Smith. She is the wife of Todd Smith (lead singer of Selah), author of an amazing blog entitled Bring the Rain, and half of the team that runs the also amazing online Bloom Book Club. Angie has now written a very personal and very beautiful book by the name of I Will Carry You: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy. Even the dedication page speaks volumes in just four words: "For her... For Him."

From the description on the back cover:

"Angie Smith was eighteen weeks pregnant with her fourth daughter, Audrey Caroline, when doctors discovered conditions leaving Audrey "incompatible with life." Faced with the decision whether to terminate the pregnancy, Angie and her husband chose to carry Audrey for as long as she had life. This began what turned out to be three months of loving and carrying a little girl that was not expected to live more than a few minutes.

Audrey Caroline lived for over two hours, weighing three pounds, two ounces. Yet, in the midst of the sorrow of loss, there was still joy. Angie weaves the faith-filled story of Audrey Caroline with a biblical story of hope to help us all to understand how better to cope with loss and disappointment..."

I've been meaning to write this post for almost a week now, and the thing is... I don't know that I  can put to paper (or rather, the screen) how much Audrey's story has impacted my life. The raw, unrelenting faith of Todd and Angie. The hugeness of our God and how He comforts even in sorrow... how He indeed does bring joy in the midst of the grief. I wish so badly I could condense it all down to a few paragraphs for you. The enormity of it all is still so fresh on my heart.

I discovered Angie's blog a little over a year after Audrey was born, and I read every word of every post in around two or three months. I cried. I prayed. I laughed, then cried some more.  I was captivated by the fact that someone would be so real and so open to basically total strangers. What also blew me away was the community of women (and men) who genuinely prayed and believed and related to Angie's story. Women who had suffered the loss of a child or were themselves in the middle of a difficult diagnosis for their unborn began to share their stories in the comments section and e-mails to Angie. Do you know what else? They found a place where they knew their needs would be prayed for. Women coming together to lift each other up in the midst of such brokenness and sadness. The love of Christ flowed so freely, whereas it's so difficult sometimes to find that in our everyday. We're often too busy or too distracted to notice the opportunity to reach out to the hurting and the weary. Even before she was born, Audrey was changing lives and introducing countless numbers of people to her Creator.

Angie often says that even at just over three pounds, Audrey had weight in this world. Indeed she did. Her story and her legacy will live on through Angie and Todd and a host of others who came to know this beautiful baby girl. All I have left to say is I encourage you to get this book. It's not a long read and it's incredibly well written. In fact, to make it even easier for you... Angie's book is now offered as a limited time FREE digital download from Barnes & Noble!! Get it while you can! :)

This is no way does justice to the impact the Smith family story has made in my own life. I can only hope you'll find out for yourself what a huge blessing came in a three pound package.

Blessings,

Psalm 93

I love this Psalm. I think it has amazingly beautiful imagery and it speaks volumes in just 5 short verses. Take a minute or two and read through this out loud. Soak it up. Linger on the words until you feel them really penetrate to your spirit today.

1 The Lord reigns, He is robed in majesty; the Lord is robed in majesty and is armed with strength. 

The world is firmly established, it cannot be moved.

2 Your throne was established long ago; You are from all eternity.

3 The seas have lifted up, O Lord, the seas have lifted up their voice; the seas have lifted up their 

pounding waves.

4 Mightier than the thunder of the great waters, mightier than the breakers of the sea -- the Lord on 

high is mighty.

5 Your statutes stand firm; holiness adorns Your house for endless days, O Lord.

Hiatus?

That's what I'm leaning towards calling my prolonged procrastination :) I've been in a dry spot creatively, so I fell out of the Blogosphere for a while. However, new posts should be arriving soon! Hopefully you'll find it interesting... but if not, at least my attempt may be amusing.

Also note that a group of bloggers are now in the Dominican Republic (DR) with World Vision and will be blogging about their experiences there. The button for Jessica Turner's blog The Mom Creative is on the left of my page, and you can follow the other bloggers at their respective blogs:

Briana from Bargain Briana
Jill from The Diaper Diaries
Andrea from Mommy Snacks
Amanda from Oh Amanda

I can't stress how important it is for us to act on what we see. The photos and videos you will see posted by these women are real. The poverty is real. The children are real. More importantly... hope is real. God is real. We are all able, even in our financial "instability", to give out of our abundance one way or another. For $35 a month a child can eat, get an education, form a bond with someone they know will pray for them and who genuinely cares for their well-being. You could be that someone. I'm not here to push some infomercial garbage down your throat, guilting  you into sending some money. I'm telling you from having experience in a third-world country... you can do some good. You can change a life. You can be hope and faith and love to a child. You can help a hurting kid understand that Jesus is real and He loves them and will provide for them. Just consider it. If you feel so led, act on it.

Blessings,

Tree On a Hill

[Feb. 2009]

I was driving home down a very familiar road and something caught my eye that I had never really taken notice of before. There was one lone evergreen pine tree at the top of a hill surrounded by dead trees of various kinds. It was a really pretty sight. My only thought at the time was, “I wish I could stop and take a picture of that.” As I continued to drive, the voice of the Lord was so clear in my spirit. “That tree represents my people. You are to be like that tree.”

Wow.

Do you know why that tree remains green all year round? It is an “evergreen”, but what is different about it from the other kinds of trees, you ask? Every needle on an evergreen pine tree is coated in a very thick water-proof wax. A protective covering.

Jesus was sent to us as a Savior. His purpose on this earth was to shed His blood so that we might have a protective covering. The blood of Jesus is our protective covering.

      Romans 5:9 – “Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him.” (NKJV)

      Ephesians 1:7-8 – “In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that He lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.” (NIV)

      1 John 1:7 – “But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.” (NKJV)

Another important detail is the shape of the “leaves” of this tree. They aren’t broad flimsy leaves. We see most trees with big leaves that turn pretty colors in the fall and then turn brown and fall off in the winter. Not so with the evergreen pine. It has needles that are long and slender, allowing enough space only for the water it needs to survive, which it stores all year in order to survive in the winter… the hard times… the bleak months.

      John 15:5-8 – “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given to you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” (NIV)

      John 4:13-14 – (Jesus to the Samaritan woman at the well) “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of living water welling up to eternal life.” (NIV)

One would think that all of these long and skinny needles are fragile or easily broken, but on the contrary, they are tough and very resilient to the elements. An evergreen’s needles are always a vibrant green and stand out among other types of trees, especially in the winter months. They are different. Their needles don’t change from color to color, season to season, eventually losing any color altogether. Green… alive… year round.

We can obviously equate these “other trees” with those in the world. Changing continuously, not sure which “color” to be, their “broad leaves” soaking up whatever comes their way and letting it change their appearance and character. We are to be imitators of Christ. Set apart. Different. Alive in Him.

      Leviticus 20:26 – “You are to be holy to me (my holy ones) because I, the Lord, am holy, and I have set you apart from the nations to be my own.” (NIV)

      I Peter 2:9 – “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.” (NIV)

God is so awesome. Even His creation cries out in worship to Him. One lone evergreen pine tree on a hill top. God’s promise to us that even in the winter months, when times are the darkest, the coldest, and the loneliest… we will survive… but only by His power and the merciful blood of His son Jesus.

      Psalm 96:11-13 – “Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad; let the sea resound, and all that is in it; let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them. Then all the trees of the forest will sing for joy; they will sing before the Lord, for He comes, He comes to judge the earth. He will judge the world in righteousness and the peoples in His truth.” (NIV)

      Psalm 98:7-9 – “Let the sea resound, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it. Let the rivers clap their hands, let the mountains sing together for joy; let them sing before the Lord...” (NIV)

Come to Jesus

I love Point of Grace. I think they are incredibly talented and gifted women of God, not to mention they are seriously funny and so down-to-earth. They just released their new album No Changing Us, and it is awesome! The very last song on the CD is titled Come to Jesus (not the same song as the one by Chris Sligh). I watched a YouTube video of Denise Jones talk about the song and why they chose it for the album, and I wanted to share that here with you guys. I'll also post the lyrics below the video for y'all to read. I highly recommend you go out to iTunes and download the whole album or it's available at Target, Wal-Mart, and Amazon for some reasonable prices (iTunes = $9.99 & Target = $10.99 for your cheapest buys). I hope everyone (all 2 of you) is having a great week!



Come to Jesus
 This is for the weary and the weak
This is for the desperate and ashamed
This is for the hopeless hiding in the shadows
Cupping hands around a flicker of faith

This is for the one's who don't belong
This is for the silent castaways
This is for the sinner peeking through the stained glass
From a sidewalk in the cold driving rain

Chorus:
We all fall down
We all need saving once in a while
You are not alone
We all lose faith and lean on mercy
And through our darkest night, He said He'd wait for us
Just come to Jesus

For anyone who's given up on God
For those who've tripped and fallen out of grace
For anyone who's lookin to the bottom of a bottle
For the strength to make it through another day
(Chorus)

He did not come to raise the living or touch the eyes of those who see
It was for the bitter and burned-out
It was for the unforgivable
It was for the failure, standing on the bridge, because the guilt's too high a price to pay to live
(Chorus)

In the Season of Rain, Pray for Rain

If you've noticed the (in)courage button on the left of my page, maybe you've clicked over there a few times and read some of their awesome posts. If you didn't happen to read yesterday's post by Lisa-Jo, I encourage you to do so :)

You may remember a few posts back when I told you I liked to think and pray while doing the dishes? Well, so does Lisa-Jo, and she is more talented with her words than I am... so go read it!

The Little Post That Could

I realize it's been days since I said "more later tonight..." I'm real time conscious like that :) In reality though, I've just been plain busy. Busy with work and school and the in between. All of that to say...

The other night I was going to tell you that over one year ago I wrote a letter to Cindy Cruse Ratcliff. She is the director of music and worship at Lakewood Church in Houston, TX (Joel Osteen's church). I know everyone has their own personal opinions about Joel and Lakewood, but this has no relevance to that at all. I've been listening to the Lakewood Live CDs for years and was always blown away by the quality and professionalism of the songs. Also what is so striking are the words to the songs and how beautiful and intimate some of them are. My absolute favorite has always been "Show Me Your Glory." Such a sweet and prayerful song. I wanted to know who wrote it, and discovered that Mrs. Ratcliff along with Israel Houghton had written almost every song that has been recorded by the worship team. So, that's how I came to be interested in her music (personal and with Lakewood).

I got off on a rabbit trail... the letter... I wrote to her because I have always been drawn to the music business and producing and A&R and all of that, so I was interested to see if I would be able to intern with the music department at Lakewood for a summer or a few months. Basically I told her (or whomever read it) who I was, where I am, what I do, and what I wanted to do. After six weeks of waiting on a reply, I had pretty much given up and figured it had either never gotten there (I sent it to her personal ministry address, not the church) or they read it and weren't going to reply.

Almost a year to the day later (I sent my letter on Feb. 19, 2009 and their letter was postmarked Feb. 20, 2010) Emily called me after work and we were just talking about the day. She said she checked the mail and we had gotten the usual... and "oh, you got something from Cindy Cruse Ratcliff." Excuse me? Really? She read it to me and it was a very sweet (although vague) letter that was hand signed in ink by Cindy's husband Marcus. He said that he had forwarded my letter on to the church and that they did take on interns (so I assume it has to go through the church). I was a little more than excited that someone had actually even read it, much less had taken the time to send me something other than a stock letter with a stamp for a signature.






While I'm not even sure I'll ever volunteer/intern with Cindy and the Lakewood team, I thought I would share and shed a little light on what I feel to be the most effective and anointed tool (the music department) that Lakewood has to share the gospel. Y'all have a blessed week!

Not So Uneventful

Lest you think I've died, I figured I should probably post and update about my less than uneventful life at the moment. I've been spending most all of my "free time" at Dick's Sporting Goods. Not that this is at all a bad thing. I get paid on Friday! :) However, this does mean that I don't get home until close to 11 p.m. on the nights that I close and then I go immediately to bed because chances are I need to be back there at 9 a.m. the next morning... but anyway, I'm not so sure that details of my work day make good blog fodder.

Well, I've been writing and deleting it all for about an hour now and I can't quite figure out how to say what I want to say... so, maybe I will save it all for tomorrow (well, later today).

I apologize for my scatterbrain :) There'll be more to come...

Be blessed,

Would You Like Some Socks With That?

I am now an official employee of Dick's Sporting Goods! Doesn't that sound glamorous? :) I'll be selling/picking up/stocking/folding and what-have-you in the apparel department. I must say I was beginning to get pretty frustrated and sad by the fact that not one company/person had called to follow up with any of the 20+ applications I had distributed between three cities. Y'all, that's bad. So, last Thursday I received a random phone call from a local number and was tickled to death to find out she wanted to interview me that day and at the end of the interview I was told to come in at 10 a.m. Monday morning (today).

Since the required dress of Dick's is a hunter green polo that they provide and some khakis (that I must provide), I decided that my current single pair of "dress khakis" are a little snug for all day wear. I proceeded to go find some on the clearance rack at American Eagle... $10!! $10!! It was a good day :) Anyway, figuring I might actually get to do some work today, I washed and dried them so that they would shrink enough in length to fit properly and proudly put them on this morning.

I was subjected to "computer training" for around two hours. Simulation upon questionnaire upon audio-less video was projected at me while managers and various other people came and went and did things that managers and various other people do. I sat. I clicked. I typed. I can't say that I will remember everything that I was "trained" to do, but goodness, there is A LOT to know. A LOT I tell you. I was also told to come in from 4 p.m. to close tomorrow night and I would get some "floor training." Sounds good to me. Here's to hoping I don't confuse the 1 year replacement plan with the 4 year service plan and definitely not the ScoreCard Rewards card. That would be a travesty :)

But... I'm excited! I have something to do, means of income, and maybe I'll meet some nice folks. So, if you're needing any Nike dri-fit, some Under Armour, or maybe a new kayak... come see me. I'll even sell you some socks.

Socks? Yes. There's apparently a program/incentive thing known as SWEET. Socks With Each and Every Transaction. I MUST sell socks. I MUST. Just so you know. I mean, who doesn't need socks?

Happy Monday!

"Winter Storm" 2010

Living in the Southeast, that curious crystallized white stuff that falls from the clouds is very scarce. While most people run each other over in Wal-Mart to rip every bag of bread and carton of milk off the shelves, there are also those of us who laugh and wait for the "winter storm advisory" to be lifted and the weather men/women to hang their heads in shame.

As a side note... what are people doing with all of this bread and milk anyway? I mean, two things that will go bad if you don't consume them quickly. What if it doesn't snow? You're left with moldy bread and sour milk. Get some beanie weenies or some pork and beans, maybe a two liter beverage that doesn't require refrigeration to "be good." Anyway... just something I've always thought was odd.

With that being said, we had 4ish inches of snow on Friday. No joke. It started around 10:40 a.m. and snowed non-stop until about 4 p.m. This may have been the first time since the blizzard of 1993 (when I was a few months past 4 yrs old) that there was actually enough snow to play in... and I'm not gonna lie... we played in it :) I got Emily outside and we threw around some snowballs and took a bunch of pictures and eventually made a pretty awesome snowman (who had a face made from various sized baby carrots).

Emily applying his face

Me with Mr. Snowman (he's very stylish) :)

Some scenery

Of course, every bit of that was melted by yesterday afternoon and now there's sunshine a'plenty (but it's still terribly cold). Oh well, at least the Winter Olympics are on and goodness knows there's enough snow in Vancouver for all of us :)

Hope y'all have a blessed week!

There's Moore Where That Came From

Just a little recap of last night (because I envision you wide-eyed in suspense)...

Emily and I did indeed travel an hour and a half to arrive 2 and a half hours early to the book signing event :) When I parked the car and we decided it was too early to go in and stand around, we set out again for the Chick-fil-a nearby to get some beverages. [Note: this is the extended recap, as you can see. I'm in a mood] I immediately drove back to the Family Christian for fear that every empty parking space was now taken... only to see that I only had to park one space away from where we were when we first arrived. It was early. So, we went in and browsed some CDs and books and various pieces of art and eventually we got a "letter" so that we would know when we could get in line. We were letter H and our "projected line time" was 6:30 p.m. It was approximately 3:50ish. Soooo... we walked, we stood, we read 3 children's books, and stood some more. All the while it was getting very crowded and quite warm.

Fast-forward a few hours and all of a sudden there is a great shrieking and clapping coming from "the table" in the back corner. Mrs. Moore had arrived!! Everyone is now beyond excited and moving closer and closer to "the table" while the As make their way through the line.

Let's fast-forward again another hour or so and we made it! Now, after waiting all of that time, I can't explain to you how quickly it was over... but it was great fun :) Mrs. Moore was super nice and very open for pictures and chatting if you had a quick story to tell her. The woman didn't even have a chair! She stood the entire time signing away and smiling for every picture. So sweet. She seriously just oozes personality and genuinely seems to care about each person she comes in contact with.

Wait, did I say pictures?

Beth, Emily, and myself

The Signature [To Raeann - Jesus is life! Beth]

Guess who else we saw?

All-in-all we had a great time. We even got some Chick-fil-a coupons! How random.

I'm all out of news. Nothing of interest took place today. A lot of sitting and staring at this machine and occasionally getting up to go and grab another 7-UP... but other than that, nothing you'd be interested in knowing. So, I'll leave it at that. I hope you all are having a great week, and if you're in the South East, start hunkering down for the "winter weather."

Take care,

Elbow Deep In the Dishwater of the World

I don't know about you, but I really hate doing dishes. I don't mean rinsing and loading, I mean scrubbing and drying. Yuck. There is probably physical pain I would rather endure than doing a sink full of dishes... but I digress.

One thing that I have learned from doing the dishes, however, is that because I do them slowly (you think I'd be faster since I hate them, right?) I have a lot of "alone time" to think and ponder on life. Sometimes I'm not so sure I like that very much. I think about what I have to do in the days following and the latest tragic story I read in Time magazine. I think that maybe someone will call me soon excitedly telling me I'm just the applicant they're looking for! Then I think that maybe nobody ever reads those ridiculous online job applications. I think about school and life and where I'll be in ten years and if I might sadly still be here taking night classes and waiting tables (not that there's anything wrong with that, if you are). So basically, you can see why I hate the dishes. Of course, my life isn't tragic and more often than not God uses this alone time to tell me so.

We can get so bogged down in our circumstances that we miss the bigger picture. So what that McDonald's hasn't called? Maybe there's a better offer waiting just around the corner. We're impatient people. I'm an impatient person. I'm a planner. I want to know what's going on and when and what should I expect. Sometimes I need to just be still. Not stop living or just quit trying and refuse to care. Not that at all. I've been thinking about Psalms 46:10 ("Be still and know that I am God...") recently and how that scripture is constantly taken way out of context. Rather than poorly dictate what I had in mind to share with you, I just found this article by Jason Jackson while searching for different translations of said scripture. I encourage you to go read it and find a place where you can "be still" before Him and allow Him to work in His timing so that you may ultimately give Him the glory.

I love this paragraph from Jackson and think it adequately sums up all that I came here to say today:

So as your world crumbles around you, the call from Scripture is: don’t flinch in faith in God. Stand still — not because of a self-made confidence, not because you are the most composed person in the face of disaster, not because “you’ve seen it all.” Be still because of what you know about God.

What do we know about God? First of all, do we understand who He is? He is everything. He is healing, He is strength, He is wisdom, He is courage, He is comfort, He is anything. Anything you could possibly think of that you need, He is.

What do YOU need today?

So Long, Insecurity!

You need to know that I absolutely adore Beth Moore. I think that she's an amazingly gifted Bible teacher and so anointed to minister to women of all walks of life... and she's coming to Birmingham/Fultondale, Alabama next week to sign her new book!! In preparation for said event, I went to the Family Christian bookstore tonight and purchased books (<-- link to Amazon where you can get So Long, Insecurity for 52% off of retail price!!) for myself and for Em's mother to take with me on Wednesday. There was a little piece of card stock in the middle of each book that told me that Beth wasn't personalizing books or posing for pictures and that only books purchased at Family Christian would be signed. Now those first two bits of info I understand because Fultondale is her third stop of the day and she will be there for only 2 hours. However, are her people really going to tell someone to leave if they purchased their book at LifeWay? I don't think so. That would be sad. I don't think Beth would approve.

In other news, I wish it would either rain or not rain at all. Today we had something akin to someone putting their hose pipe on "mist" and waving it around in the air. Ridiculous, really. Just enough to need to turn on your windshield wipers about every minute... by hand... because there is no "mist" setting for windshield wipers. I was a little irritated. Which is sort of silly I guess. There are far bigger things to worry about than having to constantly move my left hand, but I'm allowed to vent here, right? Ok, I'm finished now.

I sadly don't have anything else of worth to share with you at the moment. I know I said there would be gobs of posts about real issues coming up soon... but I've procrastinated and haven't written them yet. I apologize. I will return on Sunday night and update about my sure to be eventful weekend, and maybe even drop a few "serious posts" on you as well.

Y'all take care and have a blessed weekend! Go buy Beth's new book, So Long, Insecurity!

 

Disclaimer: I'm in no way affiliated with Beth Moore or her people. This "advertisement" is solely due to the fact that I love her work and think that you should too.

Guess What?

I've had an idea! Shocking, right? Today I was sitting at the kitchen table doodling on one of Emily's notepads, and suddenly I had produced a new little scribbling of words on a page. It's not fabulous, but it's new. So I thought I would share. I'm also unsure of a title, so for now, I'll pull an Emily Dickinson :)

From darkness to daylight

And shambles to splendor

We rise from our hiding places

Breathing deep and stretching our arms upward towards the unseen

In our awakening we find freedom

To create, to explore, and to live

To live without fear or oppression

And in this freedom we will thrive

I'm also mulling over some new posts. Just various observations and thoughts that I'll soon share here. Maybe one later this after or possibly tomorrow.

Also, for you bookworms out there, Angie Smith of Bring the Rain and Jessica Turner of The Mom Creative have an amazing book club known as The Bloom Book Club where women (and men) get together and read a book over the course of a few weeks. They post their thoughts in video form and there is a separate Ning community for group discussion. Currently we are working on Same Kind of Different As Me. It's not too late to join in!!

I hope this week finds you blessed!

Scooby Dooby Doo!

So, every Friday night in January the local mall is having Family Fun Night. This means that every child within a 30 mile radius begs their parents to take them to the mall to bounce in the blow up bouncy thing and to meet... Scooby Doo! Fun, right?? It just so happens that I usually frequent the mall on Friday nights to eat a little Chick-fil-a and window shop. This being the second Friday I've known about Scooby coming to town, I thought I would take a few pictures and share a little fun with everyone :)

I was ever so fortunate to get the exact same little 2 person table I had to sit at last week, so this is basically the same shot I Tweeted last Friday... except that I actually got Scooby in the picture this time, ha.


Then I decided that if I was going to actually use my exciting mall experience as blog fodder, I of course needed to get some action shots! Here we have Scooby wrangling a small child for the camera. I see he is opting for the "head compress" method :)



And finally, even the big kids wanna have their picture made with the Scoobs.



This concludes another totally (un)eventful Friday in January. Maybe next month I'll actually stand in line and get someone to snap a few photos of me and whatever poor underpaid fellow in  costume they bring in. Oh no, I have no shame, lol.


Oh! One more thing! Check out the new layout :) Cute, huh? That's me up there lounging in the grass with my coffee, haha. Hopefully everything is now more pleasing to the eye. Be sure to keep checking back for more updates!


Have a blessed weekend!

Way Back When

There was a time, believe it or not, that I used to write daily. Hourly. A LOT. I wrote at school in between classwork, I wrote at home, on the band bus (I know, NERD), and when there was no paper I would formulate all kinds of things in my head. Now... not so much. However, I thought you (or maybe just me? who knows) might like to have a good laugh and see what exactly it was that I was pondering "way back when". Let's begin, shall we?

I'm not sure when this was written, but apparently before I thought it necessary to actually date things. I'd say probably at least 8 or 9 years ago.

Alone
The last burning ember fades and it is truly night
Sitting all alone and lonely
Listening to the sound of my own breath
Waiting for the sun to rise
But I have hours yet
Hours to count the minutes
Minutes to count the seconds
Until morning comes
And when the sun does finally show its face
I will still be here Here with the hours
...the minutes
...the seconds
Here... alone

This one has some great potential I think, but those last two lines are bordering on cheesy and I'm not quite sure how to fix it. This is circa 2005.

Letting Go

how can i help you if you won't let go?

you're stalling and falling, out of control

this hurt that you feel, i can tell it makes you weak

your eyes, they scream when they used to speak

how can i help you when you turn away?

your heart freezes over

tears strain to stream down your face

enraged you become

please don't shut me out

denying that you need to talk

there's no need to yell, no need to shout

one day i'll break that wall

we'll sit down to chat, and it'll seem like that's all

you'll let it all go, turn to me and the tears will flow

the past is behind you, now's the time for you to grow

take your chance, you deserve to fly free

i'll never leave your side, your friend i'll always be

I spent a great deal of time on this one. I like it a lot. Hopefully you will too :) And guess what? I dated it! Began on July 6, 2007 and revised and completed on February 8, 2009 (not that I was actually agonizing over it for 2 years... but I'm glad I dug it up and finished it).

Last Ditch Effort

this is my last ditch effort

my final chance at salvaging the real me

somehow i’ve become cloaked in darkness

an otherworldly frenzy of everything but original

my last ditch effort

to release the chains that bind and destroy

to invite a cleansing beyond explanation

why such a long road to here?

shouldn’t there be an easier way?

my last ditch effort

to shed the old and encourage new

patches of green where once was brown

sunlight and air in places long forgotten

my last ditch effort

to resurface unscathed

beginning anew what once was lost to me

restoration complete

i’m letting go

And for the grand finale!!

Something I didn't write :) This is one of my favorite poems by Mark Strand. At least you'll leave knowing you read something of literary worth, ha!

Lines for Winter

Tell yourself

as it gets cold and gray falls from the air

that you will go on

walking, hearing

the same tune no matter where

you find yourself --

inside the dome of dark

or under the cracking white

of the moon's gaze in a valley of snow.

Tonight as it gets cold

tell yourself

what you know which is nothing

but the tune your bones play

as you keep going. And you will be able

for once to lie down under the small fire

of winter stars.

And if it happens that you cannot

go on or turn back and you find yourself

where you will be at the end,

tell yourself

in that final flowing of cold through your limbs

that you love what you are. 

Blessings,

Dawdling Through the Week

Hello there. I know, I know, it's been almost two weeks since my last post. I'm falling a little behind on my "resolution", huh?

Well, that's ok, because here I am :) I've been doing the usual for the last week and a half. Going to school and going to Wal-Mart and eating and sleeping. You know, all of those super exciting things I just know you're aching to find out about. Ha!

Really though... I've decided I don't much like my classes this semester. I have International Business which is pretty neat. We're learning currency exchange rates and how to calculate Yen to British Pounds and USD to Canadian Dollars. Then there's Finance. I don't like numbers. I mean, sure, I'm fairly good and mathematical things and I really enjoyed my Accounting classes, but all of this "critical thinking" about stocks and bonds and mutual funds is just too much. It is interesting though. I'm just glad I'm not a finance/accounting major. I'd be in bad shape :) Oh boy, then there's Management. Which of course is my major. However, this class does not make me happy. I really could stay here and just read the text book I paid untold amounts of money for and learn the same things. I don't like that. I like some interaction and some excitement from the professor about what he/she is teaching. Reading from the book does not count. Oh well, who am I to complain?

Guess what? I am taking an "art appreciation" class that I absolutely adore. It's a lot of art history and looking at slides in a dark room a la Mona Lisa Smile. It's great. I have it at night and it is the only class I have on Mondays and Wednesdays. A bright spot in my Spring semester :) So, because I'm really out of "engaging material" for today, here are some of my favorite pieces I've discovered in said class...

And while I would like to post pictures of them, I haven't quite figured that out yet :) How embarrassing, haha. If you happen to know how to do this, please fill me in!

Here are some links...

** The Dominant Curve by Wassily Kandinsky

** The Last Supper by Tintoretto

** Mother and Child and Four Sketches of the Right Hand by Pablo Picasso

Blessings,

Writer's Block

I keep telling myself that I will start to write again when I have something important to say. Have I ever had anything "important" to say? No, not really. So, I've decided that if I'm ever going to start writing creatively again, I must first start to write. That's a "duh" moment I suppose, but I'm the type of person to write only when I have something I feel I need to say or a clever idea that I want to express. Lately, and by lately I mean it's been several years now, I haven't felt creative at all. I want to be creative and I have all kinds of ideas and bits and pieces of stories and what-not floating around in my head, but I just can't seem to put them together on paper or on the computer screen. I find it frustrating, so I don't write anything at all. Of course, that's not productive nor does it leave me wanting to continue to pursue any sort of creative outlet for the junk that's floating around. Anyway... I created this blog for the sole purpose of rediscovering my desire to write and get thoughts onto a page and generally be (I've overused the word "creative", but I apologize) creative again. As you can see, nothing has really come of it. I want that to change. In fact, even though I hate new year resolutions, I have resolved to at least start journaling again. Whether on here, or in one of the 30 unused journals I own, I will write something new at least once a week. So... there you go. As for the first order of business...

Today when I opened the new journal I received from Emily for Christmas, I noticed that there are scriptures on top of every page. I wanted to share the verse that marks the top of the very first page. I'm not sure which translation it is from, I can't find anywhere where it tells what the company used to print them, but I think it's beautiful and speaks volumes about turning over a new leaf and making a fresh start fully trusting Him. 


"Let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting Him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ's blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water."  (Hebrews 10:22)

I want to break this down a little bit. First off... "Let us go right into the presence of God..." God does not withhold Himself from His people. When the veil was torn we were given the most awesome opportunity to commune and fellowship with our Creator. We can enter into His presence and seek His counsel any time, day or night. However, notice the rest of that sentence "...with sincere heart and fully trusting Him." God is no fool. He can't be tricked into thinking we really believe He can turn our situation around when the truth is that we're just calling on Him because it seems to be the only thing left to do. When we humble ourselves and our hearts are sincere before God, we open ourselves up to let Him in and give us direction or heal the hurt. We must fully trust that He is able.

"For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ's blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water." I think this is just the most beautiful picture of how our minds are renewed and our souls cleansed by His power in our lives. The blood of Jesus sprinkled on our guilty consciences to make us clean. Our filthy bodies washed in the pure water of His Word. We all have heard Romans 5:8, "While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."  Yes, He did, and He did so with a love and a compassion that I'm not sure we will ever fully understand. He died so that we might live and be clean and whole.

Everyone is talking about "the new year, the new you" and starting over fresh and being super productive in 2010. Not that there's anything wrong with any of that. More power to anyone who wants a fresh start and some new goals for this year, but let us all begin this year going boldly into the presence of God sincerely and fully trusting that He is able. That He will show us the path that is pleasing to Him and we will walk in His will in 2010.

Be blessed,
Raeann

Rolling Into 2010

Here we are... 2010. A whole decade has passed in the 2000s. I must say that my 2010 has been rather uneventful. Well, except for the fact that I am currently recovering from a mild head cold and a case of pink eye in both eyes. Ick. Very unpleasant. Other than that, very uneventful. I'm back in my apartment after spending the holidays in Georgia. Classes will start on Wednesday and that should add something to my to-do list since it now consists of 1. wake up 2. shower 3. eat 4. sleep. The job hunt is still on. I'm going to start calling every place I've applied to again probably tomorrow.

This is a pretty sad little post... and I'm not feeling very clever really. So, I'll end it all with a few of my favorite blog posts as of late. Hope you enjoy!

** Big Mama - So It's Been a Year

** Angie Smith - A Christmas Story

** Ann Voskamp - Five Steps to Real Change In the New Year

Blessings,
Raeann