Way Back When

There was a time, believe it or not, that I used to write daily. Hourly. A LOT. I wrote at school in between classwork, I wrote at home, on the band bus (I know, NERD), and when there was no paper I would formulate all kinds of things in my head. Now... not so much. However, I thought you (or maybe just me? who knows) might like to have a good laugh and see what exactly it was that I was pondering "way back when". Let's begin, shall we?

I'm not sure when this was written, but apparently before I thought it necessary to actually date things. I'd say probably at least 8 or 9 years ago.

Alone
The last burning ember fades and it is truly night
Sitting all alone and lonely
Listening to the sound of my own breath
Waiting for the sun to rise
But I have hours yet
Hours to count the minutes
Minutes to count the seconds
Until morning comes
And when the sun does finally show its face
I will still be here Here with the hours
...the minutes
...the seconds
Here... alone

This one has some great potential I think, but those last two lines are bordering on cheesy and I'm not quite sure how to fix it. This is circa 2005.

Letting Go

how can i help you if you won't let go?

you're stalling and falling, out of control

this hurt that you feel, i can tell it makes you weak

your eyes, they scream when they used to speak

how can i help you when you turn away?

your heart freezes over

tears strain to stream down your face

enraged you become

please don't shut me out

denying that you need to talk

there's no need to yell, no need to shout

one day i'll break that wall

we'll sit down to chat, and it'll seem like that's all

you'll let it all go, turn to me and the tears will flow

the past is behind you, now's the time for you to grow

take your chance, you deserve to fly free

i'll never leave your side, your friend i'll always be

I spent a great deal of time on this one. I like it a lot. Hopefully you will too :) And guess what? I dated it! Began on July 6, 2007 and revised and completed on February 8, 2009 (not that I was actually agonizing over it for 2 years... but I'm glad I dug it up and finished it).

Last Ditch Effort

this is my last ditch effort

my final chance at salvaging the real me

somehow i’ve become cloaked in darkness

an otherworldly frenzy of everything but original

my last ditch effort

to release the chains that bind and destroy

to invite a cleansing beyond explanation

why such a long road to here?

shouldn’t there be an easier way?

my last ditch effort

to shed the old and encourage new

patches of green where once was brown

sunlight and air in places long forgotten

my last ditch effort

to resurface unscathed

beginning anew what once was lost to me

restoration complete

i’m letting go

And for the grand finale!!

Something I didn't write :) This is one of my favorite poems by Mark Strand. At least you'll leave knowing you read something of literary worth, ha!

Lines for Winter

Tell yourself

as it gets cold and gray falls from the air

that you will go on

walking, hearing

the same tune no matter where

you find yourself --

inside the dome of dark

or under the cracking white

of the moon's gaze in a valley of snow.

Tonight as it gets cold

tell yourself

what you know which is nothing

but the tune your bones play

as you keep going. And you will be able

for once to lie down under the small fire

of winter stars.

And if it happens that you cannot

go on or turn back and you find yourself

where you will be at the end,

tell yourself

in that final flowing of cold through your limbs

that you love what you are. 

Blessings,